You're frustrated. You dutifully follow Goal Setting 101
advice, but it still seems that you lose sight of what you
want and how you'll get it. See if any of these common goal
setting mistakes - and how to correct them - are behind your
frustrations. Make the adjustment, and try again.
1 Hung-Up-On Goals
It's easy to get plugged into a goal, and even though it's
not working, you hang on to it out of sheer habit or willfulness.
That sets you up for procrastination and frustration. Put
things into a more simplified version by concentrating on
the big picture - the direction you want your life to go -
instead of the specific way to get there. Maybe the goal to
own a Million Dollar house is about wanting freedom and autonomy.
Maybe the goal to write a NYT bestseller is really about wanting
recognition for your talents. Focus on the feelings that you
are after instead of the one-and- only way to get it.
2. Transparent Goals
If you examine your goals you may find that you have no *plan*
associated with your goal. Generally the mistake here is that
'goals' and 'actions' have become confused. Instead, think
Goal, Strategy, Action. The Goal is the objective, what you
want. The Strategy is the overall way in which you'll accomplish
it. And The Action is the specific activity that is required
to achieve it (how you'll do it). Example: You might have
big picture goal of a healthier lifestyle. The strategy associated
with that might be to eat less and exercise more. The ACTIONS
might be "don't eat after 6:00 pm", and "walk
30 minutes after the 6:00 news every weekday".
3. Contradictory Goals. This is a common mistake in goal
setting--two or more goals with opposing results. Marriage
counselors see it a lot in people who want the benefits of
being married without giving up the single lifestyle. Or maybe
you have a goal to spend more time with your family, but you
have a job you want to do well at that require a lot of face-time.
Contradictory goals will frustrate you to no end, because
you've given yourself an impossible task. Evaluate your goals
in light of their relationship to each other.
4. False Goals
These are goals that involve chasing money, approval of others,
etc. If you want to become a doctor just to win the approval
of your parents, that's a false goal. If you want to be Super
Mom just to please your husband, that's a false goal. You
may even succeed at getting your degree, or being a Martha
Steward wannabe, but you'll never be happy with your decision.
It's not YOUR goal. "Shoulds" are usually someone
else's idea of a life for you. If you find that you can't
accomplish anything on your goal, it may be that it's not
an expression of the authentic you. Find the courage to tell
the truth about what you really want in your life.
5. Floating Goals
These goals are floating around in your head, usually masquerading
as a wish list. I call these floating goals, because they're
not rooted in reality. Writing down goals (and strategies
and actions) takes them out of the *wishing* category to the
"real" category. It's no longer just a pipe dream
in your head. It's a goal, with a strategy, and actions associated
with it. You know what you want, and you know how to get it.
If it's written down, you simply filter all decision (big
and small) through your goals.does it contribute to my goal,
or contaminate it? Example: You have a goal to write a best
selling romance novel, with a strategy of writing one chapter
each week for 36 weeks, and your action is to spend 1 hour
per day towards each chapter. If you don't schedule - AND
PROTECT - that 1 hour each day, it's more than likely that
you'll get to the end of each week wondering why you didn't
get more done.
6. Blind Goals
No matter how nicely laid out the goals, strategies, and
actions are.if you don't SEE them and review them, and let
them become part of who and what you are and do, on a daily
basis, you'll lose track of them. The job, the errands, the
latest TV show, worrying about money, worrying about kids,
worrying about the economy will all crowd out your time, thoughts,
and energy. They may remain in the back of your mind, but
you won't gear your life towards them. Post them on the 'fridge,
in the car, on the back door, on the bathroom mirror.anywhere
that you'll see them regularly.
About the author: Kathy Gates, Professional Life Coach, helps
people set priorities and goals, take actions, make changes,
and reshape their lives. She is the author of an Ebook and
several Email Coaching Programs available at www.reallifecoach.com,
call 480.998.5843